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Outline

In today’s increasingly protective and cautious environment, the "Application for Permission to Date My Daughter" emerges as a humorous yet poignant reflection of a parent’s concern for their child’s well-being in the dating world. This application, while satirical in nature, underscores the rigorous scrutiny that potential suitors might face, incorporating a variety of unconventional and meticulous requirements such as a complete financial statement, job history, ancestral lineage, and a current medical report. Prospective candidates are asked to provide detailed personal information ranging from basic identification, including name and date of birth, to more peculiar inquiries like the rank in Boy Scouts, number of years the applicant's parents have been married, and even the applicant's views on abstinence and punctuality, articulated in 20 words or less. The form humorously disqualifies anyone with a van, oversized tires, a waterbed, or any piercings, highlighting the overprotective nature of the interrogative parent. Further, the anticipation of answers regarding a woman’s place and immediate physical noticeabilities sets a trap for unwary applicants, cleverly aligning with traditional values and protective paternal instincts. Applicants are humorously warned of extreme consequences for dishonesty, underscoring the form’s exaggerated nature. Despite its facetious tone, the document cleverly encapsulates the palpable anxieties of parents navigating their child’s transition to adulthood and intimate relationships, making it a fascinating piece of cultural commentary on dating, parental oversight, and the lengths to which some might go to protect their loved ones.

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APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER

Note: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, ancestral lineage, and current medical report from your doctor.

1.NAME: __________________________________________________ Date of Birth: ______________________________

2.Height: __________ WEIGHT: __________ IQ: _________ G.P.A. ___________

3.YEAR IN SCHOOL: _____ or, IF GRADUATED YR. COMPLETED:_____ SCHOOL NAME: ________________________

4.SOCIAL SECURITY #: _____-_____-_____ DRIVER’S LICENSE #:______________________________ STATE:_______

5.BOY SCOUT RANK: _________________________________________________________________________________

TROOP LEADER’S NAME & TELEPHONE NUMBER:______________________________________________________

6.HOME ADDRESS: ________________________________ CITY: __________________STATE: ____ ZIP CODE: ______

7.NAME OF POLICE CHIEF IN HOME TOWN: ______________________ PHONE NUMBER: _______________________

8.Do you have one MALE and one FEMALE parent? _________ yes/no

If no, explain: _______________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

9.Number of years parents married: ______________

10.Do you own a van? ____ A truck with oversized tires? ____ A waterbed? ___Tattoo?____Do you have an earring? ____

Nose ring? ____ Belly button ring? ____ Other piercing? ____

(IF YOU ANSWERED YES TO ANY OF #10, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES FOREVER!)

11.In 20 words or less what does LATE mean to you? _________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

12.In 20 words or less what does ABSTINENCE mean to you? __________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

13.In 20 words or less, what does DON’T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER mean to you?____________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

14.What Church do you attend? ____________________________ How often?_____________________________________

Pastor’s name? _______________________________ Phone number? ________________________________________

15.When would be the best time to interview your father, mother, and pastor?_______________________________________

16.Answer by filling in the blank, please answer freely - all answers are confidential: (That means I won’t tell anyone - ever - I promise).

A.If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want to be wounded is in the_______________________________________________.

B.If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is the_______________________________________________________________.

C.A woman’s place is in the _______________________________________________________________________________________.

D.The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is: __________________________________________________________.

E.When I first meet a girl, the thing I notice about her first is: ____________________________________________________________.

(Note: If answer E begins with “T” or “A”, discontinue the application and leave the premises FOREVER. Also note, keeping your head low and running in a serpentine

fashion is highly recommended!)

17.What do you want to be IF you grow up? _________________________________________________________________

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.

Signed: ________________________________________________________

(That means your name, MORON)

Thank you for your interest. Please allow 4 to 6 years for processing. You will be contacted in writing if your application is approved. Please do not try to call or write (since you probably can’t, and it would cause you injury.) If your application is rejected you will be notified by two gentlemen wearing white ties, white shoes, black suits and carrying violin cases (you might want to watch your back and keep your doors and windows locked).

Document Attributes

Fact Name Description
Application Inclusivity This form requires applicants to provide a comprehensive profile that includes financial, employment, health, and familial background information.
Required Documentation Applicants must accompany their application with a financial statement, job history, ancestral lineage, and a current medical report from a doctor.
Evaluation Criteria Certain possessions or lifestyle choices, such as owning a van with oversized tires or having various body piercings, immediately disqualify an applicant.
Personal Values and Beliefs The application includes questions designed to understand the applicant's views on punctuality, abstinence, and respect for the daughter's autonomy.
Processing Time and Outcome Applicants are warned that processing can take 4 to 6 years and that rejection could lead to an ominous visit from two gentlemen in black suits.

How to Fill Out Application Date Daughter

Getting started with the Application for Permission to Date My Daughter involves a mix of preparing documents and providing personal information. It's a thorough form requiring attention to detail, including a financial statement, job history, and medical report. Carefully read through each section to ensure you understand what's needed and fill out the form accurately to avoid immediate rejection. Here are the steps to fill out the form:

  1. Start by writing your full name and your date of birth in the spaces provided.
  2. Enter your height, weight, IQ, and grade point average (G.P.A.).
  3. Indicate your year in school or the year you graduated, along with the name of your school.
  4. Provide your social security number and driver’s license number, including the state where your license was issued.
  5. Detail your involvement in the Boy Scouts including your rank and your troop leader’s name and telephone number.
  6. List your home address, including city, state, and ZIP code.
  7. Write the name and phone number of the police chief in your hometown.
  8. Answer whether you have one male and one female parent. If no, provide an explanation.
  9. State the number of years your parents have been married.
  10. Answer questions about personal lifestyle choices, such as owning a van, oversized tires, or having piercings. If you answer yes to any, you're instructed to discontinue the application.
  11. In 20 words or less, describe what LATE, ABSTINENCE, and DON’T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER mean to you.
  12. Indicate which church you attend, how often, the pastor’s name, and their phone number.
  13. Suggest the best time to interview your father, mother, and pastor.
  14. Respond freely to questions about potential injuries, your views on women's roles, and other personal opinions keeping in mind all answers are meant to be confidential.
  15. End by stating your aspirations for the future in the section "What do you want to be IF you grow up?"
  16. Sign the application, signifying that all information provided is true and correct to the best of your knowledge, understanding the severe consequences listed for providing false information.

After completing and signing the form, remember to attach all required supplementary documents. These documents play a crucial role in the processing of your application. Expect to wait between four to six years for processing, as noted at the end of the form. During this time, attempting to contact for updates is discouraged and could result in injury. If your application is denied, you will be notified in a manner consistent with the form's unique sense of humor.

More About Application Date Daughter

  1. What information is required to complete the Application for Permission to Date My Daughter?

    The application demands several details for completion: a full financial statement, job history, ancestral lineage, and a current medical report from a doctor. Additionally, it asks for personal information such as name, date of birth, height, weight, IQ, GPA, school information, social security number, driver's license information, Boy Scout rank, home address, and the name of the police chief in the applicant's hometown. Questions about the applicant's family structure, views on punctuality, abstinence, respect towards the daughter, religious involvement, and a hypothetical section on injuries and personal views are also included.

  2. Are there any specific conditions that automatically disqualify an applicant?

    Yes, there are conditions that lead to automatic disqualification. Owning a van, a truck with oversized tires, a waterbed, having a tattoo, earring, nose ring, belly button ring, or other piercings disqualify the applicant immediately. Additionally, specific answers to hypothetical questions, specifically focusing on the first thing noticed about a girl, can also result in disqualification.

  3. How should applicants submit their information?

    Applicants are required to provide all requested details in written form, ensuring the accuracy and completeness of the information. However, the form humorously mentions that the submission process is not to be followed up through calls or writing, highlighting a unique, lengthy processing time of 4 to 6 years and a cheeky approach to security should the application be rejected.

  4. What happens after submitting the application?

    After submission, the application will undergo a processing time of 4 to 6 years. Applicants will be notified in writing if their application is approved. In case of rejection, the document humorously states that notification will come via two gentlemen donning a specific attire, emphasizing a need for caution and security by the applicant.

  5. What is the significance of the humor and exaggerated threats in the application?

    The application uses humor and exaggerated threats to underscore the protective instincts and concerns of a parent venturing into the territory of their daughter dating. It serves as a playful, albeit stern, reminder of the seriousness with which a parent views the prospect of someone dating their child, emphasizing the high standards and expectations set forth.

  6. Is there an appeal process if the application is denied?

    While the application does not mention a formal appeal process, the humorous tone and exaggerated content suggest that the application is more a symbolic gesture of parental protectiveness rather than a legally binding document. Therefore, while being humorous, it indirectly speaks to the importance of mutual respect, understanding, and the serious intentions required when seeking to date someone’s daughter.

Common mistakes

When individuals fill out the Application Date Daughter form, several common mistakes can compromise the application's completeness and potentially lead to its rejection. It is crucial to approach this form with attention to detail and thoroughness to ensure all requirements are met.

  1. Not providing a complete financial statement: Applicants often overlook the necessity of attaching a detailed financial statement. This document is vital for assessing the applicant's financial stability, which is a requirement.

  2. Omitting job history: Another common error is failing to include a comprehensive job history. This information helps in evaluating the applicant's responsibility level and career stability.

  3. Ignoring ancestral lineage details: The ancestral lineage is a unique requirement of this form, and applicants frequently disregard the need to provide this information, leading to an incomplete application.

  4. Not attaching a current medical report: A current medical report from the applicant's doctor is mandatory. This omission is a critical mistake that results in application rejection.

  5. Inaccurate or incomplete answers: Applicants often provide inaccurate or incomplete answers to questions, particularly those requiring explanations or elaboration, such as the stance on abstinence or defining lateness.

Attention to detail and ensuring that all required documents and complete answers are provided can significantly increase the likelihood of a successful application. It is essential to review the application thoroughly before submission to avoid these common errors.

Documents used along the form

When engaging with an "Application for Permission to Date My Daughter," it's quite evident that humor blends with a protective instinct. However, behind the humor, there’s serious intent – ensuring the suitability of a potential date. Beyond this light-hearted form, there are actual documents and forms that might not be as entertaining but are crucial in various contexts, especially when ensuring trust and understanding in personal interactions and agreements.

  1. Consent Agreement: A formal document where all parties involved agree upon the terms and conditions of the dating scenario, ensuring respect and understanding among everyone involved.
  2. Personal Reference Letters: Written recommendations from people who know the applicant well, providing insights into the character and ethics of the person seeking permission to date someone's daughter.
  3. Background Check Consent Form: A document signed by the applicant, granting permission to perform a background check to ensure the safety and well-being of all parties involved.
  4. Financial Stability Form: An overview of the applicant's financial status, ensuring that they are responsible and capable of managing personal affairs, echoing the humorous request from the original application.
  5. Medical History Form: A comprehensive document detailing the applicant's medical history, aligning with the humorously requested current medical report in the application, ensuring health considerations are openly discussed and understood.
  6. Intentions and Expectations Document: A statement prepared by the applicant that outlines their intentions, expectations, and understanding of the relationship's boundaries, fostering open communication and respect.
  7. Driving Record Report: A government-issued document detailing the applicant's driving history, ensuring they are a responsible and safe driver, especially relevant if transportation of the daughter is to be expected.

In reality, while some of these documents might never be formally put into use in the context of dating, they represent layers of checks that reflect genuine concerns for safety, compatibility, and respect in the dating world. Each document serves its purpose in building a foundation of trust, not through intimidation but through mutual respect and understanding. Both the humorous application to date one's daughter and these more serious forms highlight the quintessential desire to protect loved ones, wrapped in either a comedic or formal tone.

Similar forms

  • An Employment Application shares similarities with the Application Date Daughter form by requesting detailed personal information, work history, and references. However, instead of evaluating suitability for a job, it assesses an individual's eligibility for dating someone's daughter based on a set of unconventional criteria.

  • A College Application is similar in that it often requires academic records (such as GPA), extracurricular activities, and personal essays. The Application Date Daughter form asks for GPA and year in school, mirroring the approach of evaluating an applicant’s academic and personal background.

  • The Loan Application process parallels the need for a complete financial statement in the Application Date Daughter form. Both assess financial stability, but one is for determining the ability to repay a loan while the other seemingly evaluates financial suitability to date someone's daughter.

  • A Tenant Screening Application often requires prospective renters to provide personal details, rental history, and references. This is akin to the Application Date Daughter form's request for personal information, job history, and references to assess the suitability of a prospective date.

  • A Medical History Form that patients fill out when visiting a new doctor is similar to the request for a current medical report in the Application Date Daughter form. Both collect health-related information, though for vastly different purposes.

  • The Passport Application requires detailed personal information, including full name, date of birth, and social security number, much like the Application Date Daughter form. Both are official documents requesting confidential and sensitive information.

  • A Club Membership Application can be similar by asking about personal interests, referrals from existing members, and reasons for wanting to join, which align with the Application Date Daughter form's eclectic mix of questions designed to understand more about the applicant's personality and background.

Dos and Don'ts

When filling out the Application Date Daughter form, it’s crucial to maintain a balance between respect, honesty, and a good sense of humor. Below are ten things you should and shouldn't do to ensure a smooth application process.

Things You Should Do:

  1. Read the form carefully, understanding the humor and underlying expectations.

  2. Answer all questions truthfully to reflect your sincerity and integrity.

  3. Include a complete financial statement, job history, ancestral lineage, and a current medical report as requested to show your commitment.

  4. Display a good sense of humor where appropriate, acknowledging the form’s lighthearted nature.

  5. Respect the process by taking it seriously, demonstrating your respect for the parent and the daughter.

Things You Shouldn't Do:

  1. Do not leave any section incomplete unless specifically directed by the form to discontinue.

  2. Avoid providing false information as honesty is key in building trust.

  3. Do not disregard the request for additional documents; they are part of the process.

  4. Steer clear of giving answers that might be deemed disrespectful or in poor taste.

  5. Do not ignore the humor in the form; recognizing it shows that you understand the parental concern wrapped in jest.

Taking these recommendations to heart will not only help in completing the application successfully but may also earn you points for understanding and appreciation of the spirit in which it's given.

Misconceptions

When examining the Application for Permission to Date My Daughter, several misconceptions often arise. These misunderstandings may stem from initial interpretations of the form's content and its intended purpose. Clarifying these misconceptions is vital for a comprehensive understanding of the form.

  • It requires serious financial and medical documentation.

    While the application jokingly asks for a complete financial statement, job history, ancestral lineage, and current medical report, these requests are intended as humor. The form is not seriously expecting these documents.

  • The form is a legally binding document.

    This application is not legally binding. It is created in a satirical manner, intending to provoke laughter and conversation rather than serve as a genuine screening tool.

  • Personal information is actually confidential.

    Although the form makes a promise of confidentiality, the nature of the document is not serious, and thus, any assurances of privacy are part of the joke, not a genuine guarantee of privacy.

  • Ownership of a van or truck with oversized tires automatically disqualifies an applicant.

    This statement is meant to be humorous, reflecting stereotypes about certain vehicles and their owners. It is not an actual criterion for disqualification.

  • The form promotes traditional gender roles.

    While some questions hint at traditional gender roles (e.g., "A woman’s place is in the.."), these references are crafted to add to the satire, not to enforce or endorse such viewpoints.

  • Applicants with piercings should discontinue the application immediately.

    Despite the directive to discontinue the application if the applicant has piercings, this instruction is part of the form’s attempt at humor, targeting societal perceptions around piercings and tattoos.

  • Rejection implies a threat to personal safety.

    The mention of being contacted by two gentlemen wearing black suits if rejected plays into cinematic and literary tropes of mafia or gang reprisal. It is purely for comedic effect and does not imply actual physical danger.

Overall, the Application for Permission to Date My Daughter is steeped in satire, designed to humorously exaggerate the protective nature of some parents. It is important to approach the form with an understanding of its comedic intent, rather than interpreting its content as serious criteria for dating someone's daughter.

Key takeaways

Filling out an Application to Date My Daughter requires attention to detail and a sense of humor, as evidenced by the exhaustive and humorous nature of the form. Here are some key takeaways:

  • The application process is not to be taken lightly; it humorously requests comprehensive information, including a financial statement, job history, ancestral lineage, and current medical report, indicating the protective nature parents have towards their daughter.
  • Personal information such as name, date of birth, physical attributes, and academic achievements is required, highlighting the importance of transparency in the potential suitor.
  • The form requests detailed background information, including Boy Scout rank and the name of the applicant's troop leader, indicating the value placed on community involvement and leadership skills.
  • Security details, such as the name and phone number of the police chief in the applicant's hometown, are asked for, humorously underscoring the extent of the background check being conducted.
  • The questionnaire probes into the applicant’s family structure and personal choices, like vehicle ownership and body piercings, to gauge lifestyle and values.
  • The application humorously disqualifies applicants based on certain answers, such as owning a van or having piercings, illustrating a light-hearted yet protective approach to vetting potential dates.
  • A section dedicated to short-answer questions seeks to understand the applicant's views on punctuality, abstinence, and respect, emphasizing the importance of aligning values.
  • The document concludes with a dramatic declaration of the truthfulness of the information provided, followed by a quirky note on the processing time and a stern warning about potential rejection consequences, echoing the protective and slightly exaggerated concern of a parent.

Overall, while the Application to Date My Daughter might be satirical, it showcases a parent's protective nature and the lengths to which they might go to ensure their daughter's safety and happiness in a humorous way.

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