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In today's society, where the lines between consent and coercion can sometimes become blurred, clarity and mutual understanding in intimate relationships are more important than ever. The Sexual Contract aims to serve as a foundation for safe and consensual sexual exploration by fostering open communication between partners and ensuring that both parties are on the same page regarding their wants and boundaries. Created to help partners articulate and agree upon their sexual preferences, limits, and safewords (such as "Yellow" to signal caution, "Red" to stop, and "Green" to continue), this contract covers a broad range of sexual activities and practices from the use of toys like vibrators and dildos, engaging in various forms of roleplay, to consent for different types of sexual acts. Additionally, it delves into the realm of BDSM, offering options for consent around spanking, whipping, biting, and more, while also providing space for partners to specify their tolerance for pain on a scale from one (likes intensely) to five (dislikes intensely). The document isn't just a list of do's and don'ts; it's a comprehensive framework designed to ensure that sexual interactions are enjoyable and respectful for all involved. The conclusion of the contract with signatures from both parties underscores the importance of consent and mutual agreement, making it a powerful tool in the pursuit of a fulfilling and respectful sexual relationship. By taking the crucial step to discuss and sign such a contract, partners can navigate the complexities of intimacy with confidence and care, reflecting the evolving understanding of sexual health and consent in our society.

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SEXUAL CONSENT FORM

I. THE PARTIES. This Sexual Consent Form (“Consent Agreement”) is made

________________________, 20___ between:

Proposer: ___________________________________ (“Proposer”)

AND

Consenter: ____________________________________ (“Consenter”).

WHEREAS, the Proposer and the Consenter are sexually attracted to each other and would like to manifest that sexual attraction through participation in one or more sexual acts;

II.TIME. Therefore, the Consenter and the Proposer make their bodies available to each other for the aforesaid purpose from time ____:____ ☐ AM ☐ PM on the date of

________________________, 20___ (today’s date if left blank) for a period of ____

hours, during which period they consent to participate in the following activities.

III.ACTIVITIES. (initial all that apply)

Proposer / Consenter

_______ / _______ Full body touching (external only)

_______ / _______ Kissing ☐ with ☐ without the insertion of tongue into mouth

_______ / _______ Digital penetration (receiving in _____________ (specify orifice(s)))

_______ / _______ Digital penetration (giving in _____________ (specify orifice(s)))

_______ / _______ Oral sex (receiving)

_______ / _______ Oral sex (giving)

_______ / _______ Vaginal sex (receiving: females only)

_______ / _______ Anal sex (receiving)

_______ / _______ Anal sex (giving: males only or females with toys)

_______ / _______ Restraint, using the following devices _____________ (specify)

_______ / _______ Use of following devices in or on the body _____________ (specify)

_______ / _______ Other activities_____________ (specify)

IV. CONTRACEPTION.

The Proposer is using the following methods of contraception on an ongoing basis:

_____________________________________________________________________.

The Proposer will use the following methods of contraception and/or protection during vaginal/anal* penetrative activities:

_____________________________________________________________________.

The Consenter is using the following methods of contraception on an ongoing basis:

_____________________________________________________________________.

The Consenter will use the following methods of contraception and/or protection during vaginal/anal* penetrative activities:

_____________________________________________________________________.

V. RATCHET CLAUSE. Whereas the Proposer and the Consenter are aware that attraction may escalate during the agreed upon sexual activities, and that both parties may desire to engage in activities heretofore not consented to, the parties agree as follows. (check one)

- There shall be no sexual activity of any kind other than that specified and consented to in this Consent Agreement without the establishment of a new, separate agreement. (See Clause 1 below.)

Initialed (Proposer) _________ Initialed (Consenter) ________

- Sexual activity of a kind other than that specified and consented to in this Consent Form shall be presumed to be consented to with the retroactive checking of the appropriate activity above, even after the signing of this Consent Form. (See clause 1 below.)

Initialed (Proposer) _________ Initialed (Consenter) ________

- Sexual activity of a kind other than that specified and consented to in this Consent Form shall be presumed to be consented to by mutual verbal consent during the activities engaged in under the consent given in the present Consent Form. (See Clause 2 below.)

Initialed (Proposer) _________ Initialed (Consenter) ________

Clause 1. Whereas both Proposer and Consenter recognize that alternatives a) and b) are likely significantly to disrupt any activities consented to under this Consent Agreement;

Therefore, the Proposer and the Consenter further agree that should the disruption of agreed activities, caused by the making of a further Consent Agreement (under a) above) or the retroactive amendment of this Consent Agreement (under b) above), result in a loss of desire to continue the activities herein consented to, consent for those activities consented to herein may/may not* be withdrawn by the verbal statement of one of the parties to this Consent Agreement.

Clause 2. Whereas both Proposer and Consenter recognize that alternative c) involves verbal consent of which no physical evidence will exist thereafter; Therefore, the Proposer and the Consenter further agree that such consent shall/shall not* be recorded using an audio recording device; and Whereas both Proposer and Consenter recognize that should no audio recording of verbal consent under this ratchet clause be made, neither party could subsequently prove affirmative consent to the activities that were verbally agreed upon; Therefore, both parties hereby waive their right to claim that no such affirmative consent was given. Equivalently, the Proposer and the Consenter hereby consent to any further activities that can be reasonably deemed to follow naturally from the activities herein consented to.

VI. ACCIDENTAL VIOLATION. Whereas sexual activity is likely to involve rapid movement and impaired judgment; Whereas either party to this Consent Agreement, being male, may, through no fault and without intent, penetrate a female orifice not made available for sexual activity under this Consent Agreement; Therefore, the Proposer and the Consenter agree as follows;

- Such an incident shall be regarded as an assault and the burden of proof to the contrary shall fall on the male party to demonstrate to the satisfaction of the female party that the incident was accidental, and acceptance of such a demonstration shall be taken as implying retroactive affirmative consent;

- Such an incident shall be regarded as an accident, and retroactive affirmative consent will be assumed.

VII. FAILURE TO PERFORM. Whereas consent to participate in sexual activities does not guarantee ability to perform those activities, Therefore, failure to perform such as acts as consented to under this Consent Agreement for reasons including, but not limited to physical, psychological or emotional impairment, shall not be considered a violation of this Consent Agreement; and both the Proposer and the Consenter waive any right to legal redress for such failure to perform.

VIII. EARLY TERMINATION. This Consent Agreement may be terminated at any time during the period of consent agreed upon herein by mutual written consent of both the Proposer and the Consenter.

Proposer’s Signature _____________________________ Date ________________

Consenter’s Signature _____________________________ Date ________________

(optional)

Witness’s Signature _____________________________ Date ________________

Document Attributes

Fact Description
Purpose of the Contract This agreement is established to foster safe and consensual sexual exploration, facilitate communication, and help both parties achieve the sex life they desire.
Effective Date and Duration The contract starts on the specified commencement date in 2014 and remains effective for the period agreed upon by the parties in days, weeks, months, or years.
Safewords Parties use "Yellow" as a cautionary signal, "Red" to stop actions immediately, and "Green" to continue, ensuring boundaries are respected.
Personal Limits and Consent Both parties indicate their consent preferences across various sexual activities and BDSM practices, ensuring clear mutual agreement.
Use of Toys and BDSM Elements The contract allows parties to define their consent regarding the use of sex toys, bondage gear, and BDSM activities, including specific instruments and types of stimulation or discipline.
Pain Preference Scale Parties express their pain preferences on a scale from 1 (likes intensely) to 5 (dislikes intensely), promoting safe BDSM practices.
Conclusion and Signatures With their signatures, both parties acknowledge they have read, understood, and agreed freely to the terms of the contract.

How to Fill Out Sex Contract

Filling out a Sexual Contract form is a process that involves careful consideration and open communication between both parties. This type of agreement is designed to foster a safe, consensual, and enjoyable sexual experience for everyone involved. It’s a practical step for partners looking to explore their boundaries and preferences in a structured way. The form requires you to note down personal limits, consent to various activities, and agree on safewords. Here’s how you can complete this form.

  1. Start by entering the date of the agreement commencement at the top of the form where it says "Made this day ____ of 2014 (The Commencement Date)."
  2. Fill in the names of the participants where it says “Party A” and “Party B.”
  3. Agree on the duration of the contract, and fill in the blank space provided under “COMMENCEMENT AND TERM” with the agreed-upon time period.
  4. Discuss and agree upon your safewords. These should be words that the participants can use to signal when they are feeling uncomfortable or wish to pause or stop the activities. Enter these words in the spaces provided under “SUBJECT TO: ‘Safewords’”.
  5. Review the list of sexual activities under “SEXUAL CONTRACT PERSONAL LIMITS” and indicate for each activity whether Party A and Party B consent to give, receive, it depends on certain conditions, or it’s not okay by marking the appropriate box.
  6. Consider the use of toys in your activities. Check off the consent boxes accordingly for both Party A and Party B under the section titled "TOYS."
  7. Under the section "BDSM," indicate which forms of stimulation or discipline each party consents to. Again, options include giving, receiving, conditional consent, or refusal.
  8. Rate each party’s pain tolerance on a scale of 1 to 5, where 1 indicates a high tolerance (likes intensely) and 5 indicates a low tolerance (dislikes intensely).
  9. Use the “OTHER TERMS” section to note any additional agreements, preferences, or rules that you both want to include in the contract.
  10. Finally, both parties should read the entire document carefully to ensure it accurately reflects mutual understanding and consent. Then, both should sign and date the bottom of the form where it says “Party A signature” and “Party B signature”.

This form is a step toward ensuring that all sexual activities are enjoyed with explicit consent and clear communication. It’s important that both parties feel safe and respected throughout their exploration. Remember, this agreement can be revisited and revised as needed to reflect any changes in consent or interest.

More About Sex Contract

  1. What is a Sexual Contract and what is its main purpose?

    A Sexual Contract is an agreement that aims to foster safe, consensual sexual exploration between partners. It serves as a tool to enhance open communication, establishing clear boundaries and expectations for both individuals involved. The main purpose is to ensure that both parties understand and respect each other's limits, desires, and consent, thereby creating a comfortable and safe sexual environment that caters to the wishes of both individuals.

  2. How does the concept of "Safewords" work within a Sexual Contract?

    Safewords are pre-agreed upon words that any party can use during sexual activity to communicate their current comfort level. There are three safewords provided in the contract: "Yellow" indicates that a party is approaching their limit of tolerance; "Red" is a signal to stop the activity immediately as a boundary has been reached; and "Green" signifies that everything is acceptable and to continue with the activity. These safewords are crucial for maintaining the safety and consent of all parties involved during sexual exploration.

  3. Can the terms of the Sexual Contract be modified after signing?

    Yes, the terms of the Sexual Contract can and should be revisited as the relationship evolves or as the needs and boundaries of either party change. Effective communication is key in any relationship, and this contract encourages ongoing dialogue about sexual desires and boundaries. Any modifications to the contract should be mutually agreed upon, discussed openly, and documented to ensure both parties are comfortable and feel safe with the adjustments.

  4. What happens if a safeword is used during sexual activity?

    When a safeword is used, the activity must cease immediately. This is a fundamental rule that ensures the safety and respect of personal boundaries. The use of a safeword is a clear indication that a party is either uncomfortable or in distress, and their well-being must be the immediate priority. Following the use of a safeword, partners should communicate openly about what prompted its use and discuss if and how they can continue their encounter in a manner that is comfortable and consensual for both parties.

Common mistakes

Creating a sex contract can be a powerful tool for couples looking to enhance their communication and mutual consent. However, when filling out such an important document, certain missteps can undermine its effectiveness and purpose. Here are four common mistakes to avoid:

  1. Not Being Specific Enough

One of the mistakes often seen is the lack of specificity in outlining activities, personal limits, and toys. The contract offers checkboxes and spaces to indicate preferences and boundaries, yet parties sometimes skip over details, assuming a mutual understanding that might not exist. Failing to thoroughly discuss and specify each person's comfort levels can lead to assumptions and misunderstandings.

  1. Ignoring the Emotional and Physical Safety Clauses

Another oversight involves the safety clauses, including the use of safewords. The contract clearly outlines "Yellow," "Red," and "Green" as communication tools for boundaries and consent. Unfortunately, some individuals might not take this section seriously, which can jeopardize the emotional and physical safety of both parties. Neglecting to establish and respect these safewords strips away a critical layer of consent and protection.

  1. Neglecting to Update the Contract

Relationships evolve, and so do personal preferences and boundaries. A common pitfall is treating the sex contract as a one-time agreement rather than a living document. Failing to revisit and update the contract to reflect any changes in comfort levels, desires, or limits can result in a document that no longer accurately represents the parties' consent or wishes.

  1. Overlooking the Importance of Mutual Agreement on Other Terms

Lastly, the "Other Terms" section is often underutilized. This crucial part of the contract is designed for parties to add any additional agreements or conditions that are not covered elsewhere in the document. By neglecting this section, parties miss an opportunity to customize the contract fully to their unique relationship, potentially leaving unaddressed concerns or desires.

Avoiding these mistakes can help ensure that the sex contract serves its intended purpose: to foster open communication, enhance mutual consent, and support a healthy and fulfilling sexual relationship.

Documents used along the form

When individuals decide to employ a Sexual Contract to establish clear boundaries and expectations within their relationship, it is often beneficial to complement this agreement with additional forms and documents. These serve to enhance understanding, provide legal protection where applicable, and promote a healthy, consensual, and mutually satisfying relationship. Here, we briefly describe several other forms and documents that are commonly used in conjunction with a Sexual Contract.

  1. Consent Form: This document clarifies that all activities engaged in are consensual, detailing the consent of all parties involved.
  2. STD/STI Disclosure Agreement: This form involves parties disclosing their sexual health status to each other, promoting transparency and safety.
  3. Privacy Agreement: A document ensuring that any information shared between the parties, including photographs or videos, will be kept confidential.
  4. Boundaries and Limitations Checklist: Similar to sections within the Sexual Contract, this checklist provides a more detailed exploration of each party’s boundaries and limitations.
  5. Safe Word Agreement: This clarifies the safe words to be used, ensuring that both parties understand the signals for pausing or stopping activities.
  6. Aftercare Agreement: Details the type of care and attention each party prefers after engaging in any activity, emphasizing the importance of emotional and physical well-being.
  7. Renegotiation Clause: A document that outlines how parties can discuss and renegotiate the terms of their Sexual Contract as their relationship evolves.
  8. Emergency Contact Form: Provides information on who to contact in case of an emergency, ensuring both parties’ safety.
  9. Termination Agreement: This document outlines the circumstances under which the Sexual Contract and associated activities can be terminated, ensuring clarity and mutual respect for boundaries.

While the Sexual Contract serves as a foundation for clear communication and consent, complementing it with these additional documents can fortify the relationship’s framework, providing a comprehensive approach to safety, consent, and personal boundaries. It is imperative, however, to recognize that these documents do not substitute for open, honest, and ongoing communication between all parties involved. They also do not provide absolute legal protection, but they do represent a personal commitment to respecting and honoring each other's boundaries and well-being.

Similar forms

  • Non-Disclosure Agreements (NDAs): Like a sexual contract, NDAs are designed to establish confidentiality between parties involved, ensuring that certain information is not shared outside of their agreement. Both documents require a clear agreement on what can and cannot be disclosed.

  • Consent Forms: Consent forms, used in various contexts such as medical procedures, share the purpose of acquiring express permission before proceeding with an activity. They emphasize the importance of understanding and agreeing to the terms, much like a sexual contract which revolves around the concept of informed and mutual consent.

  • Business Contracts: Business contracts outline the terms of a professional relationship, expectations, responsibilities, and conditions much like a sexual contract outlines the boundaries, preferences, and consent of the involved parties. Both types of contracts serve to prevent misunderstandings and provide a framework for the relationship.

  • Lease Agreements: Lease agreements bind parties to terms regarding the use of property, including conditions, duration, and termination. Comparatively, sexual contracts specify the terms of a personal relationship, delineating activities, duration, and safewords, much like clauses in a lease dictate use terms.

  • Employment Contracts: Similarities lie in how both documents outline the responsibilities, terms, and conditions of the relationship between parties. A sexual contract, like an employment contract, may note duration, specific activities involved, and conditions for termination or renegotiation.

  • Marriage Contracts (Prenuptial Agreements): Prenuptial agreements outline the management of personal and financial affairs within a marriage, much like sexual contracts deal with the personal boundaries and consensual terms within a sexual relationship. Both aim to clarify expectations and manage future uncertainties.

  • Terms of Service (ToS) Agreements: Commonly used by websites and apps, ToS agreements specify the rules that must be followed to use a service. Like a sexual contract, they are meant to ensure that all parties are aware of and agree to the terms, ensuring a mutual understanding of participation.

  • Partnership Agreements: These layout the terms of a partnership between individuals or entities, detailing contributions, profit distributions, and decision-making processes. The structure of a sexual contract similarly outlines contributions (activities each party is willing to engage in) and mutual agreements on boundaries and safewords.

  • Personal Loan Agreements: These formalize a loan's terms between individuals, detailing repayment schedules, interest rates, and penalties for non-compliance. While differing in context, both personal loan and sexual contracts aim to protect the interests of involved parties by clearly documenting agreements.

  • Healthcare Directives: Also known as living wills, healthcare directives specify an individual's wishes regarding medical treatment in situations where they can't communicate them. Both healthcare directives and sexual contracts emphasize the importance of personal boundaries, consent, and respecting one's wishes.

Dos and Don'ts

When filling out a Sexual Contract form, it is crucial to approach the process with thoughtfulness, respect, and clear communication. Here are some guidelines to follow:

  • Do:
    1. Communicate openly and honestly about your desires, limits, and consent levels.
    2. Respect the boundaries and preferences of your partner at all times.
    3. Use clear and specific language to ensure that both parties understand each agreement.
    4. Review and update the contract as needed to reflect any changes in consent or interests.
    5. Approach the contract as an ongoing conversation, not a one-time discussion.
  • Don't:
    1. Fill out the contract in a hurry or without sufficient discussion with your partner.
    2. Assume you know your partner’s limits or consent without asking them directly.
    3. Ignore your own boundaries or consent for the sake of pleasing your partner.
    4. Forgo the use of safe words or signals to communicate during sexual activity.

By adhering to these do's and don'ts, parties can create a foundation of trust and open communication, leading to a healthy and enjoyable sexual relationship.

Misconceptions

Many people have misconceptions about Sex Contract forms, which can lead to confusion and misunderstandings about their purpose and legal standing. Here are five common misconceptions explained:

  • Legally Binding: A common misconception is that sex contracts are legally binding agreements that can be enforced in a court of law. In reality, while they reflect a mutual understanding and agreement between parties regarding sexual activities, they are not recognized by courts as enforceable contracts in matters of consent or sexual relations.

  • Consent Is Irrevocable: Some might think once a sex contract is signed, the consent given cannot be revoked, implying that one cannot say "no" to an act they previously agreed to in the contract. However, consent can be withdrawn at any time, regardless of any prior agreement. The use of safewords as outlined in the contract highlights the ongoing nature of consent.

  • Comprehensive Safety: There's a misconception that a sex contract can completely safeguard against emotional or physical harm. While a sex contract can encourage communication and set boundaries, it cannot guarantee safety. Both parties must continuously respect boundaries, consent, and communicate.

  • Only for BDSM Relationships: While sex contracts may be more commonly discussed within the context of BDSM relationships, they can be beneficial for any type of relationship. They encourage open communication and clarity about desires, boundaries, and expectations.

  • Covers Illegal Acts: Another major misconception is that if something is included in a sex contract, it becomes legal. It's important to understand that any act that is illegal outside of the contract remains illegal, regardless of agreement between the parties. A contract cannot legitimize illegal behavior.

Understanding these misconceptions about sex contracts can lead to better communication and healthier relationships by setting clear expectations and boundaries. While they can be a useful tool in fostering open dialogue about sexual desires and limits, they are not a substitute for continuous, active consent and communication.

Key takeaways

Filling out and using a sex contract form involves a careful consideration of personal boundaries, desires, and mutual respect between all parties involved. This document is not just a piece of paper but a communication tool designed to enhance the sexual experience through openness and honesty. Here are key takeaways to consider when dealing with such a contract:

  • Clarification of Consent: One of the primary purposes of a sex contract is to clarify consent for various sexual activities, ensuring all parties have explicitly agreed to what will and will not happen.
  • Communication is Key: These contracts encourage open and honest communication about desires, fantasies, and limits between partners, fostering a healthier sexual relationship.
  • Setting Boundaries: They allow individuals to set clear personal boundaries, which helps in preventing misunderstandings and respecting each other’s limits.
  • Use of Safewords: Incorporating safewords such as "Yellow," "Red," and "Green" provides a simple and effective way to communicate comfort levels and boundaries in real-time.
  • Flexibility: Although the contract may have a defined term, it’s essential to understand that sexual preferences can change over time, and the agreement should be revisited and adjusted as needed.
  • Not Legally Binding: While these contracts can significantly improve communication and mutual understanding, it’s important to note that they are not legally binding documents in most jurisdictions.
  • Privacy: Respect for privacy is crucial. The details of the sex contract should remain confidential between the parties involved unless an explicit agreement is made to share certain aspects.
  • Educational Tool: For many, a sex contract can serve as an educational tool, providing insight into one’s own desires and boundaries as well as understanding and respecting those of their partner(s).

In conclusion, while a sex contract can greatly enhance the sexual dynamic between partners through better communication and explicit consent, it's equally important to approach it with an open mind and a willingness to adapt. Remember, the goal is to create a safe, enjoyable, and consensual experience for everyone involved.

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